By Kim Simmons

In April of 1998 (just one day after our oldest son's death), our daughter, Jenny, dedicated her performance at her high school's annual Mineral Water Classic track meet to her brother. Many of the athletes on the track team wore Jason's high school number (19) to honor his memory.  Although she won her events at that meet and set a new pole vault record, Jenny really hoped to someday win a state pole vault championship in Jason's memory. (Our son, Wes, had dedicated the upcoming Northwest Missouri State University football season to Jay's memory - and the team eventually won the Division II National Championship that season.)

After qualifying for the high school state championships at the end of her senior year in 1999, Jenny cleared the same height in the pole vault battle as her closest competitor. The other vaulter, however, had fewer misses in the competition and consequently won the state championship. Jenny took second... but God had bigger plans for her!

~

Jenny left for college that next fall and throughout her pole-vaulting career at NWMSU, she set a goal to win an All-American award (again, in memory of Jason). During her junior year, she qualified for her first national meet in Boston, Mass., and just as had happened in the high school state meet, she missed the prize by just one vault... but God had bigger plans for her!

Jenny qualified in the spring of that same year for the outdoor nationals in San Angelo, Texas, but it was during her senior year (2003), that she once again stood on a national stage in Boston, and God's plan unfolded very literally before our eyes -this championship meet seemed to have Jason's name written all over it!

Jenny arrived in Boston days before us, and she called to tell us she had been assigned Room 119. The numbering of the rooms of the hotel began on the first floor with 101, 102, 103, etc. Basically, Jenny had been assigned room 19 on the first floor.  When she told me this, I instantly remembered the first track meet she ran in memory of Jason when all the athletes wore his #19. I immediately thought to myself, "wouldn't it be awesome if we were assigned room 19 on the second floor?" But our reservations had been made for months; the room had already been assigned; and it was just a passing thought, anyway.

~

Dave, Wes and I left for the East Coast and first flew into Providence, R.I., where we would then rent a car for the one-hour-drive to Boston. As our plane was landing at the Providence Airport, I pointed out a sign to Dave. Standing alone in bold letters close to the runway was a huge sign with only one word printed on it .J-A-Y. I love seeing reminders of our Jay (our favorite pet name for our son), but the reminders are so bittersweet. How I wished he could be here with us!

When we arrived at the hotel, we were handed the key to our room. I suddenly remembered my hope that maybe... just maybe.... we would also get a room 19.  Much to my disappointment, the number on the key was 167.

As we opened the door to our room, however, we discovered that there was only one bed. Because Wes was with us, we had reserved a room with two beds. Dave went back to the front desk to resolve the problem.

Thankfully, a double room was still available, and Dave returned with our new key. When I asked him our new room number, he looked down at the key and announced that we were moving to room 219!  I suddenly felt warm all over! I thanked God for arranging an answer to that tiny little prayer of mine.

As preoccupied as we were with Jenny's big event, God knew how much we were also missing Jason. Important family events such as this always make Jay's absence feel more pronounced. The J-A-Y near the runway and the #19s of our room assignments felt like acknowledgements from God that He understood the void we felt, as Jenny was about to compete on a national stage.

~

As the big day arrived for Jenny's performance, Dave put on his NWMSU hat. That hat had gone with Jason to every Northwest event that he had ever attended, and Dave now wore it to every Northwest football game and track meet that he attended. (It may seem silly, but taking that hat with us to watch Wes and Jenny perform was as important to us a putting gas in the car. Somehow, it just felt like the right thing to do - honoring Jason who was always Wes' and Jenny's biggest supporter.)

By the end of the day not only had Jenny finally won her All-American honor, she had also (as a dark horse) won the Division II National Pole Vault Championship title! Her wish to honor #19 in a big way had finally become reality after years of hard work and prayers - prayers that were answered in a way beyond her wildest dreams.

 ~

As the excitement of Jenny's accomplishment settled in, Dave and I felt overwhelmed with the thought that we are the parents of two children who have shared the honor of becoming collegiate national champions. We feel so much pride for both Jenny and Wes. The fact that they both won national titles was, in and of itself, quite remarkable! Most importantly, we felt incredible gratitude to God for honoring our children's greatest hopes to pay tribute to their brother in these ways.

~

The next day after driving back to Providence, Dave spent some time in an airport bookstore before boarding the plane. He picked up a book entitled When God Winks, by Squire Rushnell. The book addresses the author's opinion (as well as our own) that there is often more to life's coincidences than meet the eye. The author describes many of the coincidences we experience in our lives as those times when "God winks at us," as if to remind us that He is, indeed, in our midst.

We had a layover in Philadelphia and then continued our flight to Kansas City. Seated next to us was a lady who was heading home to Columbia, Mo. Dave read his new book much of the way home as I sat in the middle seat, occasionally conversing with Jackie, the woman sitting next to me.

Toward the end of our flight Dave showed me a marking on the back of his book which reminded him of the alignment of the crescent moon and stars that we witnessed in the sky the night that Jason died. Jackie then inquired about the subject matter of the book. As Dave explained its contents, I suddenly noticed a number on the safety manual in the pocket of the seat directly in front of me. As I scanned across all the seats, I noticed the number 319 in bold print on all the manuals. "Wow!" I thought, "the third set of 19s this weekend!"

Jackie began telling us of her husband's recent death. She opened her heart to us and shared her concern that she wasn't presently feeling God's closeness in her life like she had felt in those early months after her husband died. She felt very alone.

Dave and I firmly believe that our lot in life since Jay's death is defined by 2 Corinthians 1:4, which speaks of the God of all Comfort "who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." We both felt led to offer our comfort to Jackie by sharing our own experiences of God's comfort following Jason's death, as is chronicled in a book we wrote.

As the plane was landing, we offered a copy of our book to our new friend. Jackie accepted our gift with tears in her eyes. She hugged me tightly and quickly said, "I knew there was a reason I sat next to you! I just knew it!"

She then told us that this was the second time in as many trips that someone had given her a book to help her through her grief. The first book was a gift that contained a story revolving around a particular date. That date was very significant to Jackie because her husband died on that same date. Our book, we hoped, would help to remind her that God is still very close.

~

As I now reflect on the events of Jenny's championship weekend, I am captivated by the three 19s that were weaved into our lives. After guiding our eyes to a sign that said J-A-Y, it felt as though God then used 119 and 219 to soothe the ache in our hearts. Finally, He put His stamp of grace on Jenny's prayer to honor her brother with her own National Championship for #19!

Could it be that the third 19 (319) was placed in front of us on that return flight home to gently remind us to now  "give back to God?" After all, three is often considered God's number (the Trinity, i.e.). In our hearts, it truly felt as though the third 19 was for Him - as if He were asking us to help comfort one of His grieving children - to demonstrate the instruction of 2 Corinthians 1:4.

We hope our encounter with Jackie reminded her that God was indeed winking at her to let her know He is always very close to the brokenhearted. He had certainly reminded us of that fact throughout this glorious weekend in our lives. In fact, the combined events of that trip remind me of a song written by Bob Bennett, one of our favorite lyricists:

Small graces surely have a meaning

Beyond their merely passing by

They are a reminder to the heart

There's more to life than meets the eye

As Dave once said, "I think there are times in our lives when God winks over and over again, just to make sure that we get it!"

By KIM SIMMONS

Standard Sports Editor

With Christmas just days away, I find myself reflecting on this beautiful holiday season (past and present) and I am counting the many blessings God has given me through the course of my life. One such blessing is the opportunity to write for The Standard and to then be given the latitude to write my own personal thoughts in columns that tightly stretch the boundaries of my assignments - local sports. I thank Managing Editor Eric Copeland and Publisher Jim Bouldin for that leeway.

During this season of giving, I feel drawn to share a piece of my heart with others and I offer these thoughts as my small "gift" to readers - trying my best to wrap these words into a neat little Christmas "sports package" and to then tie it all together with an example of God's beautiful ribbon of love.

Like most parents, my children are my life's treasured blessings. I cherish my memories of Jason, Wes and Jenny traipsing around these many Tiger athletic arenas. My three kids graduated from ESHS years ago - and each has remained proud of his or her Tiger heritage. And although all of my Tiger grads have now moved-on, they still find themselves tied to different athletic endeavors.

•  Wes, for example, works for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and for Dynamite Sports (an advocate of high school sports). He and his wife, Amy, are now raising our newest blessing (six-month-old granddaughter, Andrea, who is predicted to carry-on the athletic prowess of both her parents).
  
•  Jenny is now teaching and coaching in the Belton School District. She has married Eric - better known by Belton athletes as Coach Scherf. In her own right, Jenny has now earned the title of Coach Scherfette.
  
•  Jason...well, Jason has been living in Heaven for over eight years. Of course I have no idea what he's been up to, but I sometimes wonder if his love of sports didn't somehow follow him through the golden gates. I know that must sound extremely odd to many, but here is my story.

It was several years ago that I dreamed I was holding my son in my arms. I looked down at him and quietly asked this question: "What is it like where you live?"

Jason looked up at me with a huge grin and simply replied, "I live in a corner of Heaven known as ?Homerun Park.' "

And with those few words, I awoke very suddenly - filled with a real sense of peace and a longing to return to my dream so I could ask more questions.

Believe me, I've spent plenty of time in the last eight years wondering what Heaven is like. But how can one begin to visualize a place that one has never seen? Honestly, even God's own description of His magnificent home as found in the Bible is hard for me to comprehend, and I've certainly never considered baseball to be any kind of descriptor for that glorious place.

But after my dream, I spent considerable time questioning why "a corner of Heaven known as Homerun Park" would ever enter my mind, even if only in my sleep. Suddenly one day, I received what I considered a gift of understanding. My heart became warmly filled with the words, "Jason is safe at home forever!"

I was absolutely overwhelmed as I processed those words, immediately conjuring-up images of days-gone-by when my young high school ball player was known for his daring steals down the third-base line to home plate, diving-in headfirst for the score. He loved doing that! In fact, it's one of my fondest memories of his time on the Tiger diamonds. I can still see Number 19 emerging from the dust as the umpire stood with outstretched arms -  yelling, "SAFE!"

Jason learned in those days that if he ran strategically - making just the right moves down the baseline - he might find himself safe at home. But he also learned that all that fun could get him in trouble - there was always the possibility of being called "OUT!"

Hitting a HOMERUN, however, is different! It doesn't require taking chances around the bases. The possibility of being called "OUT" doesn't even exist. After all, a HOMERUN is a free ticket to cross home safely.

Now, put that same scenario into the heavenly realm and the illustration becomes, as Jason would say, "AWESOME!" On a heavenly scale, a HOMERUN would mean eternally safe at home.

I now envision my son    wiping the dust of this world from his feet as he crosses the plate in that corner of Heaven known as Homerun Park. And standing at the plate is Jesus himself (once again with outstretched arms), calling him "SAFE AT HOME FOREVER!" True - this was just a dream, but it was a healing and meaningful illustration of what I consider the essence of Heaven.

My dream about "Homerun Park" is one I love to share with others. It has become another of my treasured blessings. But my most cherished treasure is the greatest gift ever given. After all, it was that gift (born in a manger so many years ago) that placed my son on that heavenly diamond in the first place. It was that same gift that then saved him from ever being declared "OUT" again!

"She will give birth to a son and you are to

call Him JESUS,

for He will save His people from their sins."

(Matthew 1:21, KJV)

Merry Christmas to our readers. May God keep you and your families safe throughout the New Year. and for all eternity.

Last night, as I was contemplating the recent events of my life that seem to have altared my future in such a drastic way, I thought about many things past, present and future, and it all came together in this poem I wrote called The Victory.

This is the victory that overcomes the world; foes of every kind.
Whether on the football gridiron or in this game called life,
It's in FAITH where true triumph we find.
Through the blood, sweat, and tears of our own sacrifice,
Yes. Certain victories we can obtain.
But only the sacrifice of the one True Champ,
Brings victory that eternally remains.

In case you are wondering about the significance of all the Bearcat Green, picture of Jason (my brand new son), this poem, and the national championship ring ... let me explain.

As many people know, my older brother Jason David Simmons was killed in a car wreck in 1998. He and I shared a passion for football, and were both going to school at NWMSU. I was playing football for the Bearcats, and he was a math major and my number 1 fan. When he died in the spring of 1998, it really took the wind out of my sails. Because I had no relationship with God of my own... I went to the only god I knew to try to find a way to honor my brother. That god was football ... and I told Jason on his deathbed that we would win the 1998 National Championship in his memory. It was all I knew to do.

In 1998, although I was ignorantly looking in the wrong place for comfort, the true God of comfort (Jesus) graced our team with an experience that would be remembered for a lifetime. For the first time in school history, we won the National Championship and were the first team in NCAA DII history to go 15-0. What a gift it was to my entire family, to have such a joyful experience to hasten the healing process. God honored my faith, even when my faith was rather shallow. Needless to say... the ring pictured above was our earthly prize for the victory we had won through our blood, sweat and tears that year.

This was just one of many gifts my family received in those difficult years following however. There were so many tangible displays of God's grace that my mom felt led to write a book called "Lifted up from the deep" to document the miraculous power of God's healing love that we were experiencing as a family. You can read about the book and see a video trailer by clicking here.

At the end of that video, there is a picture (briefly) of my older brother Jason with his arm raised in the air. He is in his football pads, and the pic was taken on the sidelines of a hs football game. My mom used this pic in her book and advertising for it. Next to the pic she put the verse I John 5:4 which says:

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world; our faith.

To me... the ring in the picture above represents victory. Not just in the earthly realm through our own blood, sweat and tears, but it represents the victory that God gave my brother prior to his death when he gave his life to Christ. Although it didn't then, it now represents the victory that God gave to me, as through this trial, I began to explore my own need for a victory that lasts. But because it is material, it also serves as a reminder that anything we accomplish in this life that doesn't have eternal value is perishable. It can be lost at anytime. I found that to be true when I lost this ring in Boston, MA back in 2002. Ironically, I lost the ring while visiting the east coast to watch my sister Jenny win her own NCAA Division II national championship in the pole vault.

I always wanted that ring back. It was special... but it was gone. Fastforward to 2008.

In early October of 2008, the very same week of my brother Jason's birthday (Oct. 8th), Amy and I found out that our second child would indeed be a boy. The choice of name was a "no-brainer." I'll always cherish the opportunity to tell my parents that we were going to honor their oldest-child's legacy by naming our first-born son after him. Jason Wesley Simmons was the name we chose, and we got to tell mom and dad at an always painful time on the calendar, as they annually remember the birth of their beloved Jason back in 1975.

As our Jason's birthday grew nearer, Amy and my mom began to plot and plan a way to make this special day in my life even better. Amy had the idea to replace my 1998 championship ring and give it to me on the day of Jason's birth in February. I'm so glad that Amy and mom had the opportunity to bond in this special way before mom died. They created a very special moment in time for me. It is a blessing I will cherish forever.

Four days after the birth of my son Jason Wesley Simmons, my mother suddenly and shockingly died at the age of 58. The first pages of her book were written in response to the tragedy of having her son Jason ripped from her arms. It almost seems that now, the last chapter of her book and life were complete as she received in the very same week a double portion of the Jason's she loved. She was here for our Jason's arrival, and I like to think that her Jason was their for hers, as she crossed into the eternal realm and was reunited with him in Christ.

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world; our faith.