By Kim Simmons

In April of 1998 (just one day after our oldest son's death), our daughter, Jenny, dedicated her performance at her high school's annual Mineral Water Classic track meet to her brother. Many of the athletes on the track team wore Jason's high school number (19) to honor his memory.  Although she won her events at that meet and set a new pole vault record, Jenny really hoped to someday win a state pole vault championship in Jason's memory. (Our son, Wes, had dedicated the upcoming Northwest Missouri State University football season to Jay's memory - and the team eventually won the Division II National Championship that season.)

After qualifying for the high school state championships at the end of her senior year in 1999, Jenny cleared the same height in the pole vault battle as her closest competitor. The other vaulter, however, had fewer misses in the competition and consequently won the state championship. Jenny took second... but God had bigger plans for her!

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Jenny left for college that next fall and throughout her pole-vaulting career at NWMSU, she set a goal to win an All-American award (again, in memory of Jason). During her junior year, she qualified for her first national meet in Boston, Mass., and just as had happened in the high school state meet, she missed the prize by just one vault... but God had bigger plans for her!

Jenny qualified in the spring of that same year for the outdoor nationals in San Angelo, Texas, but it was during her senior year (2003), that she once again stood on a national stage in Boston, and God's plan unfolded very literally before our eyes -this championship meet seemed to have Jason's name written all over it!

Jenny arrived in Boston days before us, and she called to tell us she had been assigned Room 119. The numbering of the rooms of the hotel began on the first floor with 101, 102, 103, etc. Basically, Jenny had been assigned room 19 on the first floor.  When she told me this, I instantly remembered the first track meet she ran in memory of Jason when all the athletes wore his #19. I immediately thought to myself, "wouldn't it be awesome if we were assigned room 19 on the second floor?" But our reservations had been made for months; the room had already been assigned; and it was just a passing thought, anyway.

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Dave, Wes and I left for the East Coast and first flew into Providence, R.I., where we would then rent a car for the one-hour-drive to Boston. As our plane was landing at the Providence Airport, I pointed out a sign to Dave. Standing alone in bold letters close to the runway was a huge sign with only one word printed on it .J-A-Y. I love seeing reminders of our Jay (our favorite pet name for our son), but the reminders are so bittersweet. How I wished he could be here with us!

When we arrived at the hotel, we were handed the key to our room. I suddenly remembered my hope that maybe... just maybe.... we would also get a room 19.  Much to my disappointment, the number on the key was 167.

As we opened the door to our room, however, we discovered that there was only one bed. Because Wes was with us, we had reserved a room with two beds. Dave went back to the front desk to resolve the problem.

Thankfully, a double room was still available, and Dave returned with our new key. When I asked him our new room number, he looked down at the key and announced that we were moving to room 219!  I suddenly felt warm all over! I thanked God for arranging an answer to that tiny little prayer of mine.

As preoccupied as we were with Jenny's big event, God knew how much we were also missing Jason. Important family events such as this always make Jay's absence feel more pronounced. The J-A-Y near the runway and the #19s of our room assignments felt like acknowledgements from God that He understood the void we felt, as Jenny was about to compete on a national stage.

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As the big day arrived for Jenny's performance, Dave put on his NWMSU hat. That hat had gone with Jason to every Northwest event that he had ever attended, and Dave now wore it to every Northwest football game and track meet that he attended. (It may seem silly, but taking that hat with us to watch Wes and Jenny perform was as important to us a putting gas in the car. Somehow, it just felt like the right thing to do - honoring Jason who was always Wes' and Jenny's biggest supporter.)

By the end of the day not only had Jenny finally won her All-American honor, she had also (as a dark horse) won the Division II National Pole Vault Championship title! Her wish to honor #19 in a big way had finally become reality after years of hard work and prayers - prayers that were answered in a way beyond her wildest dreams.

 ~

As the excitement of Jenny's accomplishment settled in, Dave and I felt overwhelmed with the thought that we are the parents of two children who have shared the honor of becoming collegiate national champions. We feel so much pride for both Jenny and Wes. The fact that they both won national titles was, in and of itself, quite remarkable! Most importantly, we felt incredible gratitude to God for honoring our children's greatest hopes to pay tribute to their brother in these ways.

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The next day after driving back to Providence, Dave spent some time in an airport bookstore before boarding the plane. He picked up a book entitled When God Winks, by Squire Rushnell. The book addresses the author's opinion (as well as our own) that there is often more to life's coincidences than meet the eye. The author describes many of the coincidences we experience in our lives as those times when "God winks at us," as if to remind us that He is, indeed, in our midst.

We had a layover in Philadelphia and then continued our flight to Kansas City. Seated next to us was a lady who was heading home to Columbia, Mo. Dave read his new book much of the way home as I sat in the middle seat, occasionally conversing with Jackie, the woman sitting next to me.

Toward the end of our flight Dave showed me a marking on the back of his book which reminded him of the alignment of the crescent moon and stars that we witnessed in the sky the night that Jason died. Jackie then inquired about the subject matter of the book. As Dave explained its contents, I suddenly noticed a number on the safety manual in the pocket of the seat directly in front of me. As I scanned across all the seats, I noticed the number 319 in bold print on all the manuals. "Wow!" I thought, "the third set of 19s this weekend!"

Jackie began telling us of her husband's recent death. She opened her heart to us and shared her concern that she wasn't presently feeling God's closeness in her life like she had felt in those early months after her husband died. She felt very alone.

Dave and I firmly believe that our lot in life since Jay's death is defined by 2 Corinthians 1:4, which speaks of the God of all Comfort "who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." We both felt led to offer our comfort to Jackie by sharing our own experiences of God's comfort following Jason's death, as is chronicled in a book we wrote.

As the plane was landing, we offered a copy of our book to our new friend. Jackie accepted our gift with tears in her eyes. She hugged me tightly and quickly said, "I knew there was a reason I sat next to you! I just knew it!"

She then told us that this was the second time in as many trips that someone had given her a book to help her through her grief. The first book was a gift that contained a story revolving around a particular date. That date was very significant to Jackie because her husband died on that same date. Our book, we hoped, would help to remind her that God is still very close.

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As I now reflect on the events of Jenny's championship weekend, I am captivated by the three 19s that were weaved into our lives. After guiding our eyes to a sign that said J-A-Y, it felt as though God then used 119 and 219 to soothe the ache in our hearts. Finally, He put His stamp of grace on Jenny's prayer to honor her brother with her own National Championship for #19!

Could it be that the third 19 (319) was placed in front of us on that return flight home to gently remind us to now  "give back to God?" After all, three is often considered God's number (the Trinity, i.e.). In our hearts, it truly felt as though the third 19 was for Him - as if He were asking us to help comfort one of His grieving children - to demonstrate the instruction of 2 Corinthians 1:4.

We hope our encounter with Jackie reminded her that God was indeed winking at her to let her know He is always very close to the brokenhearted. He had certainly reminded us of that fact throughout this glorious weekend in our lives. In fact, the combined events of that trip remind me of a song written by Bob Bennett, one of our favorite lyricists:

Small graces surely have a meaning

Beyond their merely passing by

They are a reminder to the heart

There's more to life than meets the eye

As Dave once said, "I think there are times in our lives when God winks over and over again, just to make sure that we get it!"